What am I doing again? Smoking, looking at the streets fulled with public transport.
There's a war going inside of me. Deeply inside I know it's just another transformation painful, complicated. But how much need I be reminded I must let my doubts go away? How much need I be reminded there's no way back to what's lost? How many time do I need to get rid of this all? How much...?
The deadly thoughts are taking over me. Why am I going under again? When will I get rid of them and start see life soberly? Am I so dramatized or fool? Have I got so many free time for that? No.
I'm busy, very busy. My life time-table is so tight. I always do something, drawning, creating, studying, writing, reading but my suicide-ago often finds a way to catch me. Why? Is the death desire so strong in me? Again. Why?
I have got so many wonderful people who are always ready to help, to give a piece of advice, to listen to me, to wait for me. And still I wanna go. Haven't I lost my faith in good? Haven't I lost my faith in me...?
I'm trying to find my way out so hard! Really I am! I'm fighting!
But it seems I've started losing. Don't wanna believe. Impossible after so many times of battle!
If you can hear me (no matter how), please, speak to me...give me a sign...a tiny sign you're here... I do need your advice, Dim... What would you do? Tell me...

@темы: shit_Lord_thinks_of